Two weeks ago I posted a collaborative piece in which 8 phenomenal bloggers shared their secrets for staying focused online. I tweeted the announcement of this post claiming it was “8 Smokin’ Hot Bloggers Talking About Sex” in a shameless attempt to get more people to click the link.
It worked. But I also got called out on my little deception by the incredible Leela. She’s a sex coach (no, she won’t do that) who helps women rediscover their inner sexy-juicy Goddesses.
Leela challenged me to make good on my initial promise and so, with her help and the contributions of a few amazingly beautiful bloggers, I hereby (gleefully!) fulfill my obligation to you all.
While we know that confidence is attractive, and we must exude this confidence in order to succeed, it can be much easier said than done. But trust me you guys, we ARE fucking sexy! Every single one of us. Let go the time of frailty and abstinence and embrace your inner sexybeast.
Once you do, people will be attracted to you like glue…and to your business too! (Sorry, couldn’t help channeling the Doc.)
Bottom line: It’s not possible to feel sexy without also feeling confident. Try it! By my logic this means feeling sexy as hell is good for business.
Here’s what these deliciously liberated thinkers have to say about what makes them feel sexy:
Leela from LeelaLifeCoaching
I feel sexy when I’m immersed in pleasure and sensation (think warm ocean breeze on naked body or eating an exquisite meal with my fingers); when I’m doing something at which I know I’m awesome; when I wake from a long and perfectly restful sleep; and when I’m balanced and connected and playful with people. For me it’s about being intertwined but not tangled: with experiences, with people, with the world.
What makes me feel sexy:
After I’ve put in a few minutes of self-care (minimal make up like
mascara, lipstick, and cover up) so I’m ready to meet the world looking
A great pair of jeans and a black tshirt.
When I’m flirting with someone.
When I talk to people and they give me their undivided attention.
Feeling sexy is all about investment, and I’m not talking finances. In a fast-food world, sexiness is a delectable home-cooked meal made with fresh, local ingredients, served with candlelight, wine, and a promising smile. It’s the effort that makes something sexy; sure, I can fill my gut at the drive through, but that sit down dinner will tease the palate, tickle the senses, and satiate my longing in a way that a fried grease-bomb never will. I’m also less likely to come away from the home made meal with a stomach ache or funny taste in my mouth.
Sexiness is often contextual for me – it’s not just in a pair of boots or the way I do my hair – it may be talking dirty, acting clean, telling stories, pushing boundaries, taking off clothes, leaving them on, strutting, blushing, laughing…. The one constant is that investment. If I’ve spent time with myself in one way or another – shining those boots, making a new piece of clothing, accomplished a significant project – I feel sexy. It’s in that quality time that I discover the ways I shine, and I become a little more comfortable in my skin, a little more confident. And the world notices. When I’m feeling good and shining out sexy, the world notices and shines sexy right back.
What makes me feel sexy? Knowing that someone else is having great sex because they took a chance and tried something that I suggested. Feeling empowered to be who I am, without having to shove any part of myself into the background because it’s “not what good girls do”. Having people engage me with words and respect for their own (and my) intelligence. Being surrounded by people who write about (and engage in) diverse images of sexuality – including feminist, queer, and alternative sex. Believing that as I make my way through my 40′s, my brain is still my biggest sex organ – and my body ain’t too shabby either!
Lissa from OwningPink
Hmm..what makes me feel truly sexy:
When the music is thrumming, I send my inner critic to time out, I release any expectations of what sexy looks or feels like, and I let my freak flag fly as I move my body in curving, sensual movement while my hands touch my curves in time to the music, I feel sexy. When I wear this uber-short black dress with my naughty school girl thigh high argyle knee socks that show just 2 inches of my thigh above my tall black boots, I feel sexy. But mostly, I feel sexy when I’m being ALL ME, ALL THE TIME and lifting into the divine within me, because really, sexy comes from deep inside, where you’re perfect, beautiful, and whole.
Wow…incredible stuff, yes? Thank you so much to all who contributed. I believe as a culture we’ve truly come a long way in such a short time and I think each of you exemplifies this transformation. It’s now OK to feel sexy, to enjoy an orgasm, to be open about our desires and fantasies. It’s yet another reason why I believe there’s never been a better time to be alive.
Now…you…what makes YOU feel sexy?